Getting to No

I hear so much about getting to “Yes” in a negotiation, that I’m starting to think that our job as negotiators is to make the other side feel all good and fuzzy about the results of the negotiation, this might be a nice outcome, but this will not necessarily ensure that you have maximized the negotiation process and have reached the best viable option possible. That’s why getting to “No” is actually more important than getting to “Yes”, as this ultimately is a sign the that other side, has reached their negotiation boundaries and has nothing else to give.

In his book The Power of a Positive No, author William Ury makes a powerful argument that although “No” can be both destructive and sometimes hard to utter, the word also “has the power to profoundly transform our lives for the better. In fact, saying no can lay the foundation for valuable agreement.”

A lot of people are afraid of pushing too hard in the direction of a “No”, as they might be perceived as “aggressive” or “bullish”, this could be true if done incorrectly, by using wrong nonverbal communication techniques, ultimately it’s not what we say, it’s how we say it. So next time you negotiate, try and push for a “No”, use a soft but assertive tone of voice, watch your body language, and let me know how it went.