Big idea #4–Why are people still important in negotiations? From the complete negotiator, Gerard I.

In my previous post from Nierenberg's book, I talked about "How do you know you have reached the limit?" Today, I will talk about another big idea "Why do people still matter". Back in 1996, when this edition of the book was published, Nierenberg recognized that the environment would change as personal computers entered our lives and how they would affect us, bringing sweeping changes in the way people interacted. Nevertheless, he understood then what is still true today, namely, that negotiation is a COOPERATIVE PROCESS in which all parties have something to gain, and that this is based on two simple premises: (1) Negotiations are between people (2) You can not negotiate with a computer yet…

Since negotiation is an exchange of ideas between people aimed at changing a relationship, to negotiate successfully you must know human nature, i.e. you must study people's behaviors - and how to use this knowledge to your advantage in the negotiation situation.

Nierenberg brings several psychological labels to the challenges of understanding our own behavior and the people with whom we negotiate:

- Rationalization. When people rationalize, they interpret a situation in a way that puts it in the most favorable light possible.

- Projection. When people transfer their own motives onto other people, they are projecting.

- Displacement. People often vent their anger or take out their aggression on a person or object that is not the cause of their trouble.

- Repression. The exclusion from conscious thought of feelings and desires that are repulsive or painful to the individual.

- Self-image. Each person has a self-image that is made up of his or her desires, experiences, and evaluation by friends and relatives. Many personal choices are made to project or enhance the self-image.

- Role-Playing. The behavior exhibited in performing a role is based on past experiences in life.

- Rational Behavior. Some behaviors are often referred to as irrational. However, the behavior should not be labeled irrational until the assumptions and premises upon which it is based are understood.

In summary, people rationalize, they project, they repress, they play roles. Sometimes they repress things or react, conforming to self-images and exhibiting "rational" behavior. If you learn to listen and recognize consciously, you can recognize, label, and act mindfully in any negotiation.